a new season [freedom] in God’s perfect timing

My life, thanks to God, is one crazy adventure. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
 
Here’s what’s been up lately:
 
Last week, my team wrapped up our time in Tak Fa. And just so you know, I did not want to leave that place. Over our 6 weeks there, I fell in love. And I fell hard. I fell in love with my team. I fell in love with our home. I fell in love with our ministry. I fell in love with the weather, the village, the church, everything. I just fell in love. But mostly, I fell in love with the people.
 
The goodbyes were hard. Harder than usual. If I could’ve, I would’ve stayed there forever. I would’ve stayed in that house forever. I would’ve stayed at that church forever. I would’ve stayed with those 10 darling high school girls that I’d been mentoring. I would’ve stayed with them forever. I really would’ve. But instead of allowing me to do that, God gave me so much peace about leaving them. He gave me peace that His strength was enough for them. He gave me peace that I had impacted them. And He gave me peace that I would be back. And that, well, that’s both scary and exciting.
 
Anyways, on Monday morning, my team left Tak Fa. Our awesome family drove us to Bangkok to meet up with the rest of our squad. It was so good to reunite with them. The next few days, we spent catching up, sharing stories, and hugging a lot. I spent New Years Eve and New Years Day in downtown Bangkok watching fireworks from the pier and swimming in a water park on the roof of a giant mall. Fun stuff.
 
So, that’s that. Now, let’s talk about now.
 
Now, I’m in Phuket.
Now, I have a new ministry.
Now, I sleep during the day.
And do ministry at night.
Now, I live with 17 girls.
Now, I’m separated from my old team.
Now, I have a new team. Again.
And now, I’m a team leader.
 
Now, everything is different.
Literally. Everything.
 
I still live in Thailand. But it’s a completely different Thailand.
I’m still doing ministry. But it’s a completely different ministry.
I’m still me. But I’m a completely different me.
 
Before I even got to Thailand, God told me that I was going to be get free here.
 

 
During our month in Tak Fa, God began using each and every person on my team to free me of things in my past that were still holding me down. And that was good, but I was still so chained down.

I was not fully present with my team.
I was not fully present in ministry.
I was not fully at all myself. I didn't even know how to be myself.
I was a mess. A hot mess.

But I have an awesome sister…Riely. And God gave me Riely because He knew how much I needed her. And He always tells her when I'm not ok. And He told her that I needed to get ok before Phuket. So last Saturday night, Riely sat me down and told me we needed to go through things. Not just talk about em either, we needed to dig deep into em. So, we did. That night, we started with one issue, one thing that I thought was bothering me. Turns out that one issue was connected to all kinds of issues from my past. And that night, we went through all of them.

And that night's not something I can really explain…I just know that God delivered me of a lot that night. And all these things that have been holding me back for so long; all these things that I’ve been trying to get free of, but never knew how, are now gone. I’m so free. He brought me right to where I needed to be. Just in time.

Because in Bangkok, on Wednesday morning, I woke up to my squad leader Katie asking if we could go on a date that day. So, I said yes, and we did, and she told me that I was going to be a team leader this month.
 
And I about lolzed right out of my seat. God is so insane.

1.)  Because He had told me that in a dream in Honduras. But I didn’t know what to make of that then.
2.)  Because He had told me the day before. And I was still like, “What?”
3.)  Because about half of our squad prophesied it over me in the past month. I still didn't get it.
4.)  Because I had been wanting to be a leader, but was so sure I was the last person who would ever become one.
5.)  Because before this very moment, I was such a mess that there was NO WAY I could have EVER led anyone or anything in any way. Whatsoever.
6.)  And also, because God’s been leading me more and more toward leading AIM trips after this one. (Which I thought was ridiculous…I mean…I've been hiding that part of me way away this whole time…but apparently that didn't fool God. And this was the confirmation that I asked Him for. Ha.)

So, yeah. I'm a team leader. With a team of 5 beautiful girls. During the one month ministry that I have no experience in and am not comfortable in. At all. But I'm equipped. And I'm called. And I'm chosen. And I'm ready. I am so ready. God's timing is perfect. And He freed me just in time. He freed me just in time for one reason, too…so I can lead others into freedom.

So that's what I'm doing. Pouring into the 5 awesome girls on my team. Helping them get free-er. And pouring into the girls we meet on Bangla Road. The biggest red light district there is. Walking into the bars with God's authority and freedom, and declaring God's presence and freedom. Making friends and just sharing Jesus with em. That's what I'm doing.

Christ freed me. Completely. Just in time for this ministry. So I will free others. Completely. With the freedom He's given me.