God’s Plan > My Plan

I should have started my senior year of college this week.
I should have about 9 months until I graduate.
And then, well, I should have a degree.
And obviously, after that, I should get a job.

That's just what you do.

But here's the catch:

That's not what I'm doing. 

My 3 years of college have all been in different majors, and therefore have me nowhere close to graduating.
On top of that, I'm not going to school this year.
I have no desire to really ever finish school, honestly.
And I have no plan as far as what I am going to do when I return to the states next May.

So you're thinking:
No plan? No plan at all? That must be so scary, so nervewracking, right?

But I'm thinking:
No plan! How freeing. Not having my own plan allows me to be totally opened to God's plan. And that's all I want to do anyway.

You're thinking:

You can't just do that…You have to finish school. You need a degree to ever get any kind of a decent job.

But I'm thinking:
It's really not my choice. That's some nice, logical advice, but my God, who is above all logic, has told me to do differently. He hasn't told me how everything will work out, but He has told me that indeed it will work out.

And you're thinking:
How irresponsible is this girl?

And I'm thinking:
Ha! So irresponsible. But it ain't my job to be responsible. It's my job to follow and obey Christ. And to the world, that is going to, and should look pretty darn irresponsible.

You guys, yeah, this can be trying. Quitting school. Quitting your job. Leaving your family and friends. Having no idea what you'll be doing or where you'll be living for the next 9 months. And having absolutely no plan for when you return. It can totally be trying. Sometimes.

But more importantly, it is extremely freeing. All of the time. 

And why is that?

Because without our plans, all we've got are God's plans.
And God's plans are always best.
We don't have to worry about 'em.
We don't even have a say in them.
He doesn't care about our imput.
There's no messing around with Him. 
No trying to convince Him of anything. 
No compromises. 
No agreements.
Just what He says.
Not because He's a jerk.
Not because He's a control freak.
But because He knows better.
Because He is going to give us what is best for us, without even asking for our imput. 

Now, that is freeing. 

So on those days when 4,984,299 people all decide to ask me what I am going to do once I get back to the states in May?

Well, I want to scream. I want to rip all of the hairs ouf my head and scream. Because I don't know.

But God says this:

"Patience, my darling. Just because they want to know, doesn't mean you should know. I haven't told you. But I will tell you. I'll tell you when I want you to know."

So my job for now?

To say yes. To blindly say yes to His plan for my future that I know nothing about yet. Signing my name on a contract that is, right now, just a blank piece of paper, and giving it back to Him to write in the directions. Saying yes before I have any idea to what I am saying yes to. 

As Relient K put it, "Even though there's no way of knowing where to go, I promise I'm going."

So that's where I'm at. I'm going. I'm going on this trip because He has told me to. 
And after that? I'm going. 
Do I know where? Nope.
Does He? Yep.
So I'm going.