Consider yourself warned…

To whom it may concern, I return to America TOMORROW. 
So to make the transition a little easier for all of us, I thought I should prepare you guys a little. Consider yourself warned.

• I brush my hair with a fork.
• You can expect me to pray for random strangers everywhere I go.
• The thought of blankets on a bed is REALLY exciting.
• I don't remember the last time I wasn't itchy.
• It might take me a minute to adjust to the lack of bugs everywhere and on everything.
• It is totally normal for a conversation to start with the words, “Um, I have a word for you,” or “Hi, Jesus just wants me to tell you…”
• Dishsoap can clean anything. So can shampoo. And toothpaste.
• Charging my computer without first searching for a converter will be weird.
• So will showering more than twice a week.
• I don’t know how to put on makeup anymore.
• I’ll probably hug every single child I see.
• And attempt to stuff them in my backpck.
• Speaking of backpacks…I'll probably bring one EVERYWHERE with me for a good while.
• 90% of my clothes are very clearly Thai.
• What's air conditioning?
• Also, what's TV?
• I could very happily eat rice for every meal for the rest of my life.
• I WILL jump for joy when I get to eat fruits and vegetables regularly.
• I will be prepared to speak on anything, anywhere, at any given time.
• I will wear the same clothes for weeks at a time.
• I honestly don't remember the last time I sat in a chair.
• I've seen angels in the sky.
• And God has healed people through my hand.
• I measure time in countries, or 3 month intervals of ministries.
• I have kids that I literally consider my children in 3 different countries.
• And I want nothing more than to be African.
• I don't remember how to drive. Especially on the right side of the road.
• I won't understand why everything can't be bought from a stand on the side of the street.
• Toilets flush?
• And water can be hot?
• My life is a constant, neverending conversation with The Lord.
• And I haven't gone anywhere without at least 3 other people in months.
• Brokenness is a thing you'll hear about within my first week home.
• I can't even fathom not having to convert my every purchase into USD in my mind.
• Most of the things I say will probably start out, "When I was in Thailand…" or "This one time in Africa…" or "Remember in Honduras when…"
• I take my malaria pills so I don't get acne and so I do get tan, not so I don't get malaria.
• I've lived with my 23 brothers and sisters for the past 9 months. We know literaly everything about each other. I apologize in advance for talking nonstop about them.
• Elephants in the middle of the street? Normal.So are slugs covering the kitchen floor and wild horses outside your tent.
• It will be strange when everything everywhere doesn't smell like fish.
• And when internet is just available.
• I may just set up my tent and live in it for a few weeks.
• And I'll make you have daily feedback sessions with me. (Don't worry, they're not as scary as they sound.)
• I will freak out when I see my softball glove again.
• And also my dog.
• I will more than likely embarass you in public becasue of something Jesus told me to do. Sorry I'm not sorry.
• Oh, and I hope you like cuddling.

I love you all, and I can't wait to see you guys in a few short days.
But in all seriousness, it will be hard for me to adjust to life back in the states, so bear with me and be patient 🙂
I'm praying for you guys throughout the process and asking for your prayers as well.
Thanks, my friends! See you soon.